I couldn’t help it; I stumbleupon this site 

 http://www.warningsigngenerator.com/ 

and created my own.

Try it for yourself. It is very cool!

Fairy tales are just that; FAIRY TALES!  There is no words to describe what happens when a man and woman fall in love for the first time, all that sparkle, passion, heat, feeling of happiness, contentment and the knowing that someone else really cares for you in every way possible.  I REMEMBER THAT FEELING! Even now, after all the bullshit I have been through, I can still think of the good things I have experienced in relationships.  Very few times when I had doubts about the love of my life, they soon disappeared. 

Love is very powerful; it can render you in a way that you feel like you can conquer the world and no one will stand in your way.  That is the way I see it, anyhow.  I REMEMBER THAT FEELING!  When nothing, but nothing could bring me down, when every day was a new adventure and I know that no matter my day was like, I could come home and know someone was there for me, to listen to my very thoughts and voice and visa versa.  Making the most of the time spent with someone is so important, leaving the small stuff to rest and seeing that other person in a way no one else can.  Sharing life, doing things, laughing, crying happy tears or working hard at a goal for the future.  I REMEMBER THAT FEELING!

So when it all comes to an end, when the wave of happiness and the very spirit you had crashes, where did it all go?

THAT, I WILL REMEMBER FOR A LIFETIME!

For today:  Please do not take that one you love for granted; it takes a long time to find that one true love and you only get ONE!  There are no second chances.

I do not know how many of you know that I used to have many other blogs a while back and even wrote a book about it.  I combined all the blogs I had written for two years and put them in a book called “13 Chaos.”  Although, I failed at selling copies, I was still proud of the fact that it went into print and is available for sale anytime someone wants to take a gander at it.  I feel it would be one of those books, you could put beside your bed and read random posts whenever you felt the need too.  As I looked at this morning, I found this post and thought it appropriate to post.

Mixed Feelings:  How? And Why?

When faced with intense mixed emotions, how do we cope?  Medication would definitely help but it is not the answer.  Reaching inside and doing a moral inventory of why you are feeling what you are feeling would be my first course of actions.  Try and recognize each feeling, sad, mad, frustrated, confused, etc…and see where the real source lies.  Dig deep; see how your feelings relate to your surroundings.  For instance, yesterday I was very emotional. Why? Because the night before I seen something that upset me and it stayed with me all day.

Of course for me, it is all related to my ex, however, I wondered why I still get upset when I see certain things. I do tend to relive past moments of the ‘why’s’, how is this possible, questions and when I don’t get the answers, I start feeling very hurt and frustrated because I always feel like it was me that was the cause of the problems.  I cannot see past that, I have tried so many times to let it go and just believe that I was not a fault for the relationship failure.  But I am still left with the empty feelings, the hurt that I have been so humiliated and abandoned by the man I so truly love.

So, when you are faced with uncontrollable feelings you do not understand, take a moment and see what the real issue is. Talk it out and you will realize that maybe the problem is less severe than you thought. (Or otherwise, just have a good stiff drink)

So for today: I am proud of who I have become because I can grow into a beautiful and wonderful person that I am. I do not have to alter my existence to please another.

The growth process in any given relationship is hard enough; but with yourself is even harder.  Sometimes you are faced with truths you never thought would surface or even considered was a character flaw.  For years, I would give in to men and their ways of thinking, living, being and never really spoke about much.  Didn’t get me far, as most of you know, I ended alone and depressed for a long time.  But since last December, something has happened; every day I realize who I am and what I want out of life, the people around me seem less important, MEN THAT IS!

One has to be completely and utterly comfortable with one’s self before even attempting to be around another.  I also know this because I have tried and failed.  I seem to be nit picking more and more now and just makes me realize that I know for dam sure, I do not want another relationship.  There is to much to alter when with another human being; time schedule, ways of routines, sleeping a certain way, etc… you get what I mean.  I am so set in my own way now, I would not want another man to come into my home and just change all that. I know you are saying: “You shouldn’t have to change!” But consider this; you still have to alter your lifestyle for the other person to make it work and that My friends is something I am NOT willing to do anymore. COMPROMISE!  I did enough of it, to much in fact that for years I was probably someone who really wasn’t herself for the most part.  I always figured there had to be a dominant one and because I was so in love with that other person, I couldn’t see past the thick cloud I was forming.  So now I wonder; if I was to meet up with this individual again, if I could stand my ground? That would be the ultimate challenge. 

So for today:  Do not alter who you are for the sake of someone else; remember, you and you alone have to live, love and die with yourself!

Words from a book:

Today I recongnize how powerful my mind ca be.  I can’t always feel good, and I have no interest in whitewashing my difficulties by pasting a smile on my face. But I can recognize that I am constantly making choices about how I perceive my world.

Choices? Uhhhhhh is that what it’s called! Depending on what kind you make, really, that is total bullshit!  There are times when you make those choices because you know in your heart it is the right thing to do and still you fall on your ass everytime.  I am an expert on giving people chances to redeem themselves but realize also that people are people and they are who they are.  So, my choice is not to deal with people who can even see what affect they have on others but only to themselves.  Take a friend of mine, he’s male, although he has been my friend for over 17 years, we did not keep in close contact for years.  However, I still believe we have a good relationship in terms of friendship keeping it that way, he recently was dating a woman.  Now this is a person whom repeated told everyone he wasn’t looking for a relationship because he just got out of one. (Makes me sick to think about that line because it was used on me last year) Again! BULLSHIT.  So, now that this friend of mine has gotten what he wants out of her, he thinks he is in a great place; but the woman is treating the relationship as just that, a relationship.  She calls him constantly, texts him all the time and even though he is giving her the cold shoulder and keeps turning his phone off as to not get those calls and texts, he will still receive them and this woman is still in contact with him.  Long story short,  I explained to him he has to be direct and tell her, it’s done! Don’t contact me.  He doesn’t believe in that. He thinks that he is not influencing the situation, that he doesn’t want to be an asshole but he is not encourage the relationship.  I let him know how I felt and dropped it.

Why I told you this story?  Because I was there, I was the girl one year ago, although a little different in some ways because I was not harassing mine like that and he had a 4 years relationship my asshole….but my step mom once told me we go through things or meet people to help us learn lessons.  And as I think about this, I was trying to help my friend realize that he was still encouraging the girl to hang on because he is not being DIRECT with her.  Believe me, if he would just tell her, although the initial blow would hurt, she would eventually realize he doesn’t want to be in this relationship. Hence, the calls and text would stop. But I will let him deal with his own shit; I am not the best person for this because I can’t even let go of my ex, inside my heart that is but I know for a fact that the only place I will ever be with him again is in heaven.  I don’t know if I am glad that my ex was so mean to me way back when, encourage our relationship at Christmas, giving me hope but I do know has he not been so direct, I would still be emailing him mushy letters and causing myself more pain.

So for today:  My Theory stands tall; MEN take all they can get out of a woman, we have no choice there.  Because men and woman have that human nature of wanting each other, we still need that contact.  Although, I am doing well today without men in my life, I still wish I had not had the relationship I had.  Maybe I would feel differently about LOVE AND MEN.

This is Karen, a social blogger I know online and she has just finished her ebook entitled “31 Days to a better you.” This is such a great way to be, changing for youself, I thought, why not inspire others to read and help Karen get it out there. So congrats to her; please read and support.

I belong to a poetry site and a recent poem really threw me for a loop:

Read more: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/lessons-3/#ixzz0xzvLS44c

This was to perfect not to share:

http://www.foundmagazine.com/find/3802

I really don’t know what happened yesterday but it was a big storm came through my brain and in the air; everyone was like the bad cold that wouldn’t go away.  Nothing good, nothing positive, realization of what life has become and just plain people who are cruel, resentful, lashing out and who was left hanging?  ME!! 

I got back to work tomorrow, summer is over for me and I was supposed to be feeling great and happy this morning.  I am not; certain events have lead me to confirm a conclusion a came too a while back about people.

THEY REALLY DON’T GIVE A SHIT!

I was having to many OMG moments yesterday, nothing good going on and people just bashing me, I thought: “Here I go again, why bother having friends or social networking when you just get let down and put down and for what?”

If everything went wrong it did yesterday; even to the point where I was having a bowl of cereal last night, just sat down and spilled the whole thing all over myself, my sofa, the floor and you name it I was covered in more mini wheats than they can fit into a box.  As I stripped down to nothing, throwing all in the washer, I walked around thinking about people in my life or even just random people around me.  Yes I am on a rampage this morning and believe me for good reason. 

I have decided that associating doesn’t give life back; people take advantage and no matter what you do or say, I seem to always be the one who holds the bag of dirt.  I can not get up from where I am, stand tall and hold my head up without someone turning around and either yell at me, say the most awful things to me and not care whether they have just killed my very happy thought or not.    For just once, I would like to lash back out at these people in that moment and tell them what I really think of them and their words, just once!  I bet I would feel special. 

Ya RIGHT!

So, last night I stopped; stopped all the social networks, Facebook, BloggerLuv, deleted all my google accounts, and am seriously considering changing the name of this site, the location I mean.  But then again, that cost money and I have none right at the moment.  However, I was on to a good thing here or so it seemed.  My site has built up more and more everyday; I love writing the things I feel, or think because it is the only place I can.  Ya, people comment but if I don’t like what they say I can easily delete it.  People in real life you can’t delete without going to jail of course.  I can however disassociate, it is what I am doing. 

So for the rest of the year:  I am keeping to myself, writing for me and no one else, if they read they read, I don’t care, I will no longer strive to better this site in terms of business, I will work everyday and live for me.  People suck and the ones I do know in the real world can just go on with their pathetic boring lives.  There is no mercy or winning with humans.

Having moments.

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